This Is What Blogging On The Road Is Like

So! I am on my cell phone, and not my laptip! Hi! Anyway, its morning and I thought a quick breakdown of my trip might be good.

I cleaned my carpet Thursday night. Friday morning, I sent Dolly (my ex apartment manager) a text message with a picture of the carpet cleaner sitting in my empty bedroom. The time I sent it? SIX AM, Revenge is sweet.

Friday night, I went too bed early. I’d stayed up nearly the entire night before. This time I needed sleep. My bed was in my living room. Sleeping in my living room when I was totally exhausted seemed like a bad idea, so I slept at Brockas.

Saturday morning, Monica & Terry (my AWESOME future in-laws) helped me load up their truck and trailer witrh my belongings. We got it done in less than an hour. Many jokes about kidnapping me and/or not being able to take me along ensued. Said goodbye to Shea. Gave Dolly the key. Monica commented she thought is was weird that Dolly didn’t wish me good luck. Well, anything with DOlly is weird. Went to Brockas and said goodbye to Josh, my Jessica, and Chuck and Irene. Bawled. Drove.

We stopped for the night in North Platte, NE. Yes, I stayed in NEBRASKA. *shudder* I accidentally left my hairbrush in the truck, so I guess you could say I got in my Blonde Moment of the Week very early. Was too stubborn to go to Schultz’s room to get the car key, so I finger combed my own hair and blow-dried it. It didn’t turn out too bad, and hey, I’m on the road! Who am I trying to impress? It was a little frizzy, so I smoothed it down with a little of my lotion. The irony? I USED MY CORNHUSKER’S LOTION.

Lastly, it snowed last night. I am not terribly worried about all of my earthly possessions being covered in snow, since they were tightly protected by tarps. If any of those stupid cockroaches thought they were following me, I hope they all froze to death….. I don’t mind leaving them behind in Utah!

Full Circle

Its February again.  In my world, February has almost the serial habit of being the MONTH OF CHAAAAANGE!!!! .   I don’t think I have passed a February in three years where I didn’t have some sort of a big change occur. Let’s review:

In February 2007, I moved to Utah. Why did I come? Two reasons: To help start a church, and to be with my then-boyfriend. We were strongly considering marriage, so I decided he was worth the move.

Around a year later, in February 2008, we were engaged. He broke up with me on leap year day. This was the start of a slow decline in my spiritual life that made me question my understanding of God and my ability to really discern His will. I lost hope in my grasp of the sovereignty of God, and gave up on trying to understand my life. Then I allowed things to go downhill. I started to date for kicks and giggles.  I strove against living in Utah, and desperately wanted out. I tried to blame what was going on in my life on the place rather than me. I was miserable.

In February 2009, I had just started to care what God thought about what was going on my life. I began to really look at things from His perspective. What I hadn’t understood about God was wrong, but how I did it was. My good works, my service, my spirituality- they were all in the flesh. Pondering the goodness of God in my life made me thankful for what I had. I started to consider what I wanted in a husband, and what marriage looked like. That’s what inspired me to make the now-famous List. 

Two weeks later, I met Scott.

And now, here we are again in February, three years after I first came. I am leaving Utah. The irony is, I am moving in the opposite direction for the same reason I originally came.  After what I considered to be a ridiculous rabbit trail, my end result is achieved.  God gave me the man He planned for me before my birth. His Will and Purpose were worked out in me, despite me and what I thought He wanted. In the end, I came out more refined and beautiful than before.

God is good in the valley and on the mountain. He will be my strong shield and protector as I enter into this new chapter of my life, for He is faithful.

So, why did I deal through all of that? Its because those were the circumstances that God was pleased to put me through so I may better glorify Him.

Even though the journey’s long
And I know the road is hard
Well, the One who’s gone before me
He will help me carry on
After all that I’ve been through
Now I realize the truth
That I must go through the valley
To stand upon the mountain of God

So THIS is how I am rewarded?

Over the last couple of days, I have been packing up my life here in Utah. Yesterday was an extremely long day, as I spent a better part of my morning organizing and cleaning out my desk. I had accumulated 2.5 years worth of records from three departments, so due to my lack of organizing in the past, this took forever. I am handling this move far differently, though, I promise.  Half of my boxes are going right to Scott’s, so I am organizing the boxes according to what room they came from/who they stay with.  I decided to double check with my apartment manager about the requirements on how to get my deposit back. She told me to wash my walls and windows, clean the room out nice,  and shampoo the carpet.

Wait a second… did she say shampoo the carpet in my room? When I first moved into the tiny room, the carpet wasn’t even vacuumed!!!  I also know for a fact that when my previous roommates moved out, they didn’t clean the carpet. Emily Ann sure didn’t when she moved last month- Shea vacuumed the floor for her, in fact.

Livid? You bet I am.

As I packed, I comtemplated this issue. I considered arguing. I’ve lived in that dumpy apartment for a year and a half and didn’t complain about its quirks very often. I have had so many things break down and take forever to get repaired.  I accepted it as part of my lot in life for having such cheap rent and a flexible lease. You get what you pay for, right?

I can’t help but wonder if it means I have to pay for eccentric roommates (which I don’t have now, yay!) crazy neighbors, mice, backed up drains, loose railings, and cockroaches.

It also means I have to pay for traumatic experiences.

I was cleaning out my coffee maker so that I could pack it. The bottom of the maker has a couple of openings, so I was nervous that some of my morning visitors were living in there. Anyways, so I started to clean the maker. I had just run the salt water and vinegar through, when I saw three large cockroaches run out from under the machine.  Do you know what this means, Internet? I think they were living INSIDE OF THE COFFEE MAKER. I refrained from screaming, and found the courage to lift my pot, deposit it in the trash, and put it promptly outside.

Last straw? Just had it. I texted the manager, and went off.  I still will clean the carpet cause dude, I want my $275 back. Its not going to cost a lot to do it, but still. Its principle of the matter.

Jessica came over, and stewed with me as well. If you remember, we were roommates. She lived in my place for two years and intimately knows the quirks as well as I do. She was righteously indignant on my behalf. My apartment manager’s response to my inequitable responsibility for getting my deposit returned was “its the best we can do.” I am just so angry…. but I give up. I just want out.

On the bright side, In-N-Out burger, one of my must haves when I go to California, has locations in Utah now. Of course, I am moving as this wonderful development occurs… such is my life, right? Still, Jessica, Shea and I took a trip to Draper and I got to have one for the first time in a year and a half.

It was a lovely way to end an awful night.  And as disgusting and frustrating as my apartment is, I am going to miss my Jessica.

Minerva’s Moving Service

In the midst of my moving, my little Pink Ballet Lady friend Minerva came out from her hiding in the back of my closet. She was pretty worn out from our trip to Moab, so since then she has had a “vacation from vacations.” But after her haiatus, she is ready for more adventures. She knows we’ll be living in South Dakota. I think in some ways she is more excited for the move than I am. Yesterday, she was offering to help me pack. Unfortunately, she is rather small and cannot lift heavier items.  Still, she wouldn’t take no for an answer. Here is Minerva, attempting to move the hand mixer my mother got me for Christmas in 2008.

After a great deal of struggling, she finally gave up and let me move it.  I think that was a real hit to her pride, not being able to help me pack. I reminded her that she is  my sidekick, and I can’t go on adventures without her. I  mean, who else will I photograph?

Its nice knowing I won’t be going through the next phase of my life without Minerva.

Ladies, Don’t Diminish Your Responsibility

I was discussing my thoughts on a woman’s responsibility to her husband with my dear pastor’s wife, Irene (whom I will be missing more than I can express!) when she brought up this passage in Titus 2.  The context of this chapter is a directive to Titus on how to maintain consistent and godly discipleship and teaching. Here is the passage, Titus 2:1-5, in the English Standard Version.  

 But as for you, teach what accords with sound doctrine. Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness. Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior,  not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and  submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.

So there you have it, ladies. We are commanded to love our husbands. I believe that this love is best expressed in the act of submission. So what does that mean? I will eek out a post on this thought a bit more when I am less busy.  Or, maybe I will have to post in small chunks, like I have with this series. Perhaps in the meantime I can convince my  fiance Scott to write a post defining the different names for our ONE word “love”. Once you know how love is used in the Greek, well, it blows our understanding of it out of the water.

The Short Answer

One of my dearest friends, Kristin (who also has a reputation of sharing a brain with me) responded to my question very succintly. It was as if she was pulling the thoughts right out of my head.

Women have a natural tendency to love. Women can love a man they don’t respect. It is much more difficult for a woman to respect and submit to a man than it is for them to love.

The reverse is true for men. Men cannot love a woman they don’t respect, and it is far easier for men to show respect rather than love.

So this scripture is calling us to step outside of ourselves for our spouses. Men and Women will still fall into their natural tendencies for the relationship – but there is also a step above that we will have to go.

Well said, Kristin. This encompasses my basic theory, but I think there are concrete verses in Scripture to show my “theory.” I have this big thing called moving 1,100 miles away to deal with over the next week, so I will try  to expound more… maybe this weekend. If I’m not cleaning, packing or doing my taxes. If I don’t post sooner, see you in Central Standard Time!

Commanded to Respect… Or More?

I have six wonderful bridesmaids, four of which are currently planning a shower for me after my move, scheduled for February 27th. Two of my maids went out and did some shopping, and had a discussion on biblical marriage. One is a Christian, one is not (and she openly acknowledges this, so its okay for me to put this here). In that particular conversation, the Christian explained to the non-Christian that men are commanded to love their wives in a sacrifical manner. Women, on the other hand,  are commanded to respect and submit to their husbands by taking care of them, etc. Love is not an expectation. The Scripture that the Christian was referencing was Ephesians 5. Here it is:

Ephesians 5:22-33, English Standard Version

 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as  Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,  that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by  the washing of water  with the word,  so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.  For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body.  “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.  However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

That got me to thinking…. are oversimplifying the meaning of this passage for a woman’s responsibility to her husband? Is love not really in the equation for us? What is implied or not implied here? I am really interested in what you all have to say. In the next few days, (or at least after I have a few responses) I am going to try translate the thoughts that have been floating in my brain for a long time onto a blog post. So what, ladies? Is respect all we really need to do? Or is this a mental cop-out to make things easier on us? And men, what do you think? Christian or non-Christian, I want to hear it all.

Note: If you are reading this from a Facebook feed and wish to respond, please click to read the original post and comment there to make this as interactive for everyone reading it as possible. Thanks!!

Pray? (Oh Yeah)

Last week, Scott and I were chatting on the phone, going over concerns that we had about our upcoming marriage. Unequivocally, our mutual concern is finances. I have a broad and unique skill set in the banking industry, which we all know is not in top form right now. I am not sure what the job market is like in Sioux Falls, so admittedly I am a little afraid of how things will look for us after the wedding if I endure an extended unemployment. Scott asked me if I have put out any feelers for a job yet, and I haven’t since I will be in Avon, SD with his family the two months before the wedding. I plan to focus on the job hunt in March with the hopes to have permanent office-work employment by April.

As I was mulling over the future, I reminded that God is sovereign in all areas of my life, including employment. Suddenly cognizant with this truth, I said, ”Scott, we should be praying for the job the Lord wants me to have in Sioux Falls!”

After a momentary pause, Scott responded in a puzzled voice, “Oh, I’m already doing that.”

“You are?” I asked, somewhat stunned. I am a hardcore Bible reader. I am in the Word almost every day. Listening to sermons for fun? Yes please. Discussing my faith openly? Quite often, and good luck shutting me up. Prayer… um…. that could use some work. I am such an action-oriented person, always doing, moving, go, go ,go! Let’s get stuff done! Its hard for me to stop, pause, and pray. I am so glad I have a man who moves a little slower than I do, and reminds me that not only does God already know our circumstances and future circumstances, concerns, feelings, and fears, but He wants us to discuss them with Him as well.

So now… I am trying to take more time to pray.

You Can’t Be One

My Avan dear, my little man, are you already a year old? You could not possibly have already been on this earth 365 days.  Yet still, yesterday was the anniversary of your debut on this earth. I still remember that day… the joy I felt on your mother’s behalf… and how badly I wanted to hold you. I don’t know if I am allowed to love someone else’s kid this much… yet I do. Its been around six months since I have seen you, little man, and I miss you.  This year has gone so fast… and oh, how you have grown!

On the day of your birth– for me, it was love at first text.

And then to the last time I you in August, all smiles at eight months:

You seemed to enjoy me holding you as much as I enjoyed holding you.

And now, at one year old:

Now you can do so many interesting things. You started walking around Christmas. You know how to say a few words. You are not the baby I saw a few months ago…. and I will have to get to know you all over again.  Are you still all smiles? Can you chase the cats now?

It hurts to think of how much I have missed… but I look forward to seeing you again next month, my little man.

And So The Smog Lifts (Mostly)

On my morning walk, I noticed that the amount of smog floating in the air had reduced. It has not snowed yet in the Valley, but the wind or moisture must be helping. So, here you go.

The Wasatch range to the east:

And the Oquirrh Mountains to the West:

Its nice to not be walking in a haze.