Approximately two months ago, our church plant faced some unprecedented challenges. The question of whether our pastor was currently supposed to be in the ministry was brought to the attention of the whole congregation. I will state some of the concerns were very serious, you know, the sort of thing that can rip a church to shreds. Several of these families were dealing with the issues at hand for a long time. After many attempts to plea with J, they were ready to go. You can only be called a bad sheep for so long before your heart is crushed.
J brought in a third party witness, P, another trusted pastor from a Reformed Baptist church about two hours away from us. After his evaluation, P asked to meet with our congregation and our pastor to discuss his concerns and recommendations. J had a previous speaking engagement in San Francisco that he still planned to attend. P pleaded with him to stay in town, deal with his congregation, face their concerns, and hear us out. It became clear to P that J was not willing to do this. When J was gone, P and the congregation conducted a meeting to bring all of the issues to light to the rest of the congregation.
The meeting was hard for all of us, but for me in certain ways. There were concerns I always had with this pastor that I could never shake. Scott and I love him dearly, he was our friend. Scott was interning under him. But sometimes I felt he was a little…. demanding. Maybe I was being a high-maintenance wife, but he wanted a lot of Scott’s time, and usually their meeting schedule was rather spur-of-the-moment. The things that Scott did for the internship was not time sensitive. I also found it rather odd that even though Scott was an intern, how little he was involved with actual church business and how he really didn’t have opportunities to preach. J recommended that Scott take a year off from seminary so that the church could affirm his call to ministry, but the congregation did not appear to have any involvement in Scott’s “examination” process. Also, I am one of those people who asks alot of questions. Sometimes I felt as if my questions were not answered, but avoided. Apparently, my husband and I were not alone in our struggles.
Anyway, moving on. The church all agreed with P’s statements. Among them were the following:
- J does not have a shepherd’s heart right now, this disqualifies him from being a shepherd
- J income was a burden to the congregation, and he was unwilling to accept a pay cut
- J does not listen to people around him, and makes arbitrary threats about church discipline when people disagree
- Since J decided to go to California and not stay to deal with his church’s issues, it was indicative that J did not see fault in his behavior. This behavior was inconsistent with previous teaching on a pastor’s responsibility to his church. We felt as if J left his post. Rather than deal with the problems, he ran.
- J actions were a detriment to allow our church to develop a multitude of elders, which was key to the structure our church wanted to establish. You can read more about elder polity here and here if you’d like a crash course.
This represented the view of the majority of the congregation. Scott volunteered himself to be the person to deliver the news. The task for him was heartbreaking but necessary. How can you tell your mentor, your friend, someone who was like family, that their flock was disqualifying him as a pastor? Furthermore, how would J react? When Scott met with J, it became apparent that J viewed my husband as a traitor of sorts, as if he were Judas Iscariot or Brutus. J seemed appalled that Scott didn’t defend J to the congregation. J asked Scott what the congregation wanted him to do. Scott suggested that J hear the congregation out. J said he could just resign and this would all go away. Scott did not suggest that our pastor resign in any way shape or form. Scott strictly advised J to hear the church out.
That Saturday, we held another meeting. Scott and I rode with our friend Corinne. We pulled alongside J and his wife, who peered out the car window at us. Her face was a look of pure devastation. I looked away, unable to fathom her pain. Corinne, Scott and I hurried out the car, and Corinne muttered about how that simple confrontation was awkward. I guess you could say it that way.
A few minutes later, J and his wife entered the facility. J sat down briefly, read a letter of resignation, hugged all of the members of the church goodbye, and hurried away. The process took less than fifteen minutes. The letter of resignation apologized for his “inadequacies” as a shepherd. It did not address the areas where we believed he needed repentance. In fact, rather than face the truth of his ministry and his heart, he effectively removed himself from responsibility to his flock.
The congregation sat in a shocked, painful silence for several minutes after J left. Now the questions left for us where these: What do we do about J now, and would our church planting work continue?
Those questions will be answered in my next blog.
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