Yet another one bites the dust.
You might be asking yourself , “Another what?” Another boy. The last enthusiastic suitor was um, scary. When I get texts with, “You will be mine, you will!” attempts to converse about things other than hot air balloon rides (like trying to find out what this person likes) and lastly, late night phone calls urging me to come back to Des Moines on the next flight, well, its enough to make me go fleeing away, screaming, as if I am being chased by a fireball. And not understanding the word “egotistical” does not win you points in my book. After a chat with a couple of my saner friends, they assessed my latest suitor as being a stalker. As Jenna put it, “Whats up with you and creeps?” Your guess is as good as mine. Maybe freaks are attracted to confidence? Either way, these sort of stories make me want to stick with Plan B. I do have a Plan C. My friend Andrew and I agreed several years ago if we are both single when forty and we will marry each other, since two or three decades of friendship would probably produce a decent union, right? (By the way, Andrew, if you are reading this, I am not banking on you being single in your forties. You are too much of a catch.)
I have had a variety of men ask me out. I want you gentleman to know these things before you even consider asking.
When I say I date only born again, Bible believing Christians, I mean it. Jesus Christ is my all-in-all, and I would like to be with someone who shares that value. I have had several men who let this concept register yet they still try. During the summer, I registered on a dating website (to try to meet other Christians here) and had a lot of messages that went similar to this:
“I know you say are a Christian/religious/synonym for religious but I am not a Christian/religious/synonym for religious and I think we would really get along cause you seem really cool and you’re pretty so will you give me a chance?”
The very fact that you expect me to set aside a conviction created by my lifesource is beyond annoying. It’s infuriating! Why don’t you asking me to quit breathing? No, I will not go out with you. I said that on my profile. I meant that. And because of that I will not respond to your e-mail. It is a waste of my time.
Next. if you have kids, I probably won’t date you. It’s not that I don’t like children. Its not even the fact that I don’t feel ready to be a mother. I grew up in a blended family where the parents fought over how the children, especially the one that wasn’t genetically linked to both parents, were raised. Also, in this day and age we have all sorts of baby-mama and baby-daddy drama that I don’t want to risk. If you are AMAZING, however, I might reconsider this. But if you have six kids? From multiple baby mamas? And don’t support them? Don’t even think about it.
Another “I won’t date you” reason is if you have been married and divorced. My personal convictions on marriage and divorce make it impossible for me to marry someone who has already been married. I also don’t want to be with someone who thinks divorce is a viable option. Marriage isn’t something you try to get out of, like a bad cell phone contract. It’s a covenant with God. And those? Don’t break.
Next, you need to know your Scripture. I went to Bible college. My knowledge isn’t superior, but I am familiar with the Bible, and I would prefer not to teach my man what I know.
Please drink coffee. Life is boring when we can’t debate over the superiority of local roasters to Starbucks.
Please like mouthy women. I have worked hard to change trait, and well…. I am failing unsuccessfully.
Please understand what I say. I use big words. I don’t do it to show off. It’s just what I do. I don’t change how I talk for other people very often. I help people rise above their own vocabulary limitations. Being around me is like a verbal learning experience, be ready to take notes!
Lastly, please don’t be a pansy. I like a strong man. I like a man who knows what he wants, but who is humble enough to submit to the sovereignty of God. I want a man who I can lean on, yet I can support. I don’t want him to only be dependent on him; I want an interdependence, where we function together. As one flesh. I want to be loved, cherished. I want a man who is not afraid to confront me when I am being a pushy broad and need to be put in my place. I can be naturally overbearing, and desire to have a man who won’t let me overpower him. I want a man who can lead, not overbear.
And remember….. if you don’t know what the word “egotistical” means, you probably shouldn’t even try.
Despite all the bizarre mishaps I have with the opposite sex, I know that I belong to One who will love me greater and more than any man can, Jesus Christ loved me. He has made me whole, pure. He has made me beautiful. I am his Bride. His beloved. I am owned by Him, and Him alone. To remind myself of my covenant with Christ, I want to buy a ring for my right hand. I like symbols. This would be a constant reminder of Who I belong to. To whom I owe my love. A reminder of my True Love, Himself being the embodiment and example of true love.
So gentleman, if you would like to get to know me better, talk to Jesus first. You have to get through Him to get to my heart.
Before I go, what kind of traits should I seek in a man before I consider a relationship? What would be good for me personally? And what is good in general? I want to hear your advice!
It was either pinch an Irish girl or kiss one…which would you prefer? 
