My neighbors are nuts.
I have several sets of neighbors, actually. I live in the front of a four-plex unit, so I have a neighbor directly next door to me, one directly behind me, and then one kitty corner to me in the back. Not to mention the other four plexes that round up my cul-de-sac, but the family I am talking about I live directly next to. This family I share a wall with, and I am subjected to their sounds and smells.
I have not been too keen on this particular set of neighbors for a while. They children will be screaming bloody murder at one another during ungodly hours. (Blood curdling cry at 6 am? Check! Hysterical screaming at midnight? Outside your bedroom window? From the six year old? Double check!) The scent of the food this family makes makes it seem as if someone died and lingers in our air longer than curry, driving us to always have a candle or air freshening wall-unit plugged in. It was these neighbors who brought over my morning visitor. If I had a hitlist, I think they would end up somewhere near the top.
So, now what crimes have committed lately? Well, I have two bigger stories but one will have to do for now. It will be enough to make you scratch your hed for the rest of the day.
I was walking home from work, and started up our sidewalk. Just a I was stepping from the street curb to the walkway, I spotted something glinting in the sunlight. There, at my feet, was a knife.
Yes, a knife. A shiny, metal, big kitchen knife great for cutting things and is typically a murder weapon in Mystery Novels type knife.
Unsure, of what to do, I almost left it there. Then I thought of my Crazy Neighbors kids. I think they have like four children (it’s hard to tell, what with all the people milling in and out of that place) so I came to two conclusions: one, the kids could get hurt if they were playing with it, and two… this was most likely their kitchen knife anyway. The children have left random items in odd places in our yard and they do it regularly. (Sometimes they leave this stuff on my front step right where we could trip on it, in the dark…) Since it wasn’t bloody,it probably wasn’t a murder weapon. I gingerly picked up the knife and knocked on the door. After several knocks, their adorable little girl opened the door, I asked if her mother was home.
“No, ” was her reply.Then she started to reach for the knife in my hand. I quickly held it further away from her, and asked for a grown up. Right about then a car rolled up with a bunch of people in it, one of them being the little girl’s mother. The mother barely speaks English, so one of the fine gentleman in the car (I call them the Burmese Mafia) gave me a sinister look and asked what I was doing there. I explained to him I found a random knife sitting on the freaking sidewalk and decided to give the knife to an adult so one of the children wouldn’t get hurt. One of the Mafia translated, and the mother nodded. “I’m sorry,” she said, in broken English, and reached out to take the knife. I unlocked my own apartment door, only to receive glares from the Mafia while doing so. Guess that no good deed goes unpunished, hm?
Later that evening, I told Angela about finding a random knife on the sidewalk. Nothing shocks me with these neighbors now, but dude, there was a knife on my sidewalk!
My story was old news to Angela. “Oh, I found it sitting out there before,” she said nonchalantly. “I just left it.”
I am still flabbergasted. Why would someone need a knife in that part of the yard? Did you feel the need to cut some lettuce on the sidewalk? Do some car repairs with a kitchen knife? Honestly, what was the point?
And really, should I be shocked anymore? I have lived here for over a year now. I have witnessed these children leave bikes outside to rust in the snow… Still… no matter what my neighbors do, leaving a knife on the sidewalk will never be normal.
